breastfeeding vs. formula feeding
Let’s talk about breast-feeding for a minute. Excited? Wait, Wait don’t leave. Hear me out.
Before I got pregnant I believed two things to be true:
- I would breastfeed Trey for at least 6 months-1 year
- I thought the whole judgement to breast feed vs. formula feed I heard about from other mothers was a little over dramatic.
Let’s just say those were two big assumptions that made a big old ASS OUT OF ME! Trey was not into the boob. He just could not figure out what to do, bless his heart. I ended up having to pump in the hospital so he could eat. I met with a lactation consultant several times and Trey and I both cried a lot of tears of over trying to get him to latch. I’m really not sure who cried more: me or him? So I settled into the routine of exclusively pumping and giving Trey bottles.
THAT WAS TORTURE. I hated it more than anything I have ever had to do in my life. I felt like I was missing out on bonding time with Trey, it hurt, it was time consuming and it required a lot of cleaning of parts, bottles, nipples, etc. and did I mention time consuming? I cried a lot and started resenting the fact that Trey had to eat!
Keith started talking about switching to formula and my first knee jerk reaction was NO! I felt like people would judge me and I also felt guilty. I felt guilty because I had a HUGE milk supply and was freezing milk by the bagful in addition to feeding Trey everyday. I felt like I would be quitting out of convenience and not giving the best to my son. Plus everyone and I mean EVERYONE asked me if I was breast feeding…which I quickly decided was a personal question that you don’t really have the right to ask.
Finally when Trey was 9 weeks old I couldn’t take it anymore. I started weaning. I was able to use half breast milk half formula for 2 weeks (thanks to what I had frozen) and then when he was 11 weeks old he went to straight formula. We’ve had to change formulas three times. We started on Similac Organic but that gave him a rash, we then switched to Earth’s Best Organic but that made him super constipated, and we are currently using Baby’s Only Organic (please cross your fingers this works for us!)
Trey has been trooper. He never once fussed about the change. He has always just willingly eaten whatever we’ve given him and I love him for being so easy and malleable with formula. I know that isn’t always the case. And me? I am so much better. I had to stop feeling guilty because I am a much better mom now that Trey’s on formula. My hormones don’t seem as out of whack and I am not resenting his need to eat and feeding Trey is no longer a stressful event. Switching to formula was the best and right decision for my family. 100%.
Should Keith and I have more children then I will absolutely try nursing first but if for some reason it doesn’t work out then I will make the switch to formula with much less anguish than I did this time.
So here’s my advice: Don’t ask a woman if she is breastfeeding because really it isn’t any of your business. That’s a personal family decision that is between a woman, her child, and her family. That’s it. I feel like there is so much judgement out there from moms and really it doesn’t matter what another mom does or doesn’t do because everyone’s journey is their own.
So regardless if you are breast feeding or formula feeding it doesn’t really matter. We are all just trying to do our best and be the greatest moms we can be.
peanut butter bread
I made something for you:
Peanut Butter Bread
2 cups flour
1/3 cup sugar
2 tsp. baking powder
1 tsp. salt
1 egg
1 cup milk
3/4 cup peanut butter; softened
banana slices for garnish (optional)
In a large bowl combine the flour, sugar, baking powder, and salt. Add the egg, milk, and peanut butter; stir just until moistened. Pour into a greased loaf pan and garnish with banana slices.
Bake at 350 degrees for 50-60 minutes or until a toothpick inserted in the middle comes out clean.
Note: You can substitute gluten free flour and a non dairy milk if needed.
I would suggest cutting this into thick warm slices and enjoying it with a cup of coffee while your husband and newborn sleep. 😉
hi-ho, hi-ho, off to work I go {went}
Well, I did it. I went back to work. I am officially a working mom. I’ve been back exactly one week. I cried the first 4 days. I cried when I woke up, cried as I got ready, and cried as I drove in. I would sit in the parking lot pulling myself together as I walked into the building. It was hard. But the last 2 days I haven’t cried. I still feel a pang as I leave every morning but I am becoming more accustomed to my new routine and I am trying desperately to find a balance. My Principal told me something that really hit home. She told me, “give yourself some grace.”
That was very comforting because I was trying so hard for it all to be perfect on day one. But it life isn’t perfect. It is usually quite messy. It told me that it was okay to be sad about leaving Trey and to feel a little off kilter in my classroom. I felt like I didn’t know my students at all and that felt stressful. But by allowing myself some grace meant that I was allowed to just adjust and relearn my kiddos, reestablish my presence as their teacher, and also make sure that I still felt like I was being the best mom to Trey as I could be.
I finally am starting to feel like I remember my groove with the students and I am learning to focus on quality time with Trey versus the quantity of time. Trey stays at home with a nanny and she is really awesome. I can tell that Trey is comfortable around her and she is great at sending me pictures and texting throughout the day. That helps SO SO SO much. Getting to see him (even through pictures) makes me feel like I am not missing out as much. She also does great developmental actives with him that I would have not thought to do simply because as a first time mom I don’t know. I have learned a lot from her. I am really very happy with our nanny and think she takes great care of Trey. Honestly, I was a little jealous of her at first but I am realizing that there is enough room in Trey’s life and heart for us both. And really who wouldn’t want their child to be with a care taker who cares so much about him already. Now I am grateful for her.
So, there it is. I am giving myself some grace. Grace to find my balance as I establish my role as both a mom and as a working mom. Grace to find my groove so I can be the best mom to Trey and the best teacher to my second graders as I can be.
a working mom
I go back to work in 13 days. For those who don’t know what I do, I’m a public school second grade elementary teacher. I absolutely love my job. I think I’m good at my job. I look forward to my job. I never once entertained the idea of not going back to work after having Trey. Partly for financial reasons and partly for the reasons mentioned above. When I was pregnant it was hard to know how I would feel about certain things. Returning to work certainly falls into that category.
10 weeks post partum I see the 12 week deadline fast approaching and I am filled with all kinds of emotions. Part of me wants to throw a tantrum complete with kicking and screaming because I’m not ready. Then there is a part of me who wants to go back and do the job I love so much.
The thing is I know I have the perfect job to be a mom. Summers off, lots of built in breaks throughout the year, and good hours. I also work at a great school with some remarkable people. I know all that and remind myself often. I guess I wasn’t prepared for how much I would love my son. I know that sounds weird but until I had him I didn’t know. I didn’t realize how many sacrifices I’d willingly make and not think twice about until he was born. Up until that point my primary concern had been myself and now I’m second. I willingly put myself second to him right how. Becoming a mom changed me overnight and I absolutely love it.
I know I can’t stay home but a part of me doesn’t want to leave. I’m scared he won’t understand. All he’s known his entire life is me staying home with him and now all the sudden on a day that is just like every other day to him I won’t be there. It breaks my heart a little. It breaks my heart a lot. At 9:30 instead of having Trey asleep on my chest I’ll be teaching Math. Then the fear rises up: Will he remember me? Will he like the nanny more than me? Will I stop knowing him and what he likes and dislikes? Will he forgive me? Will he be okay without me? Will he be safe? Will he thrive and learn? I know he’s only 3 months old but these are the real fears I have.
Then there’s the fear of balance. How will I do it? How will I fit it all in? How will I be a good teacher, mom, wife and still find the time to take care of me? How will I do it? Can I do it? I realize every working mom has gone through this. I know I was meant to be a teacher and I love being in the classroom. I also know I’ll adjust, Trey will adjust and we’ll all be fine. We will find our groove.
It’s just hard. And I’m sad. Any working moms out there willing to share their tips and advice?
What Kelly Said 