good friends make everything better
Thanks to everyone for the encouraging and thoughtful words yesterday. Every comment made me smile. You know what else helped?
Having lunch with this girl.
Allena and I have known one another since high school!
Throwback picture:
It’s funny because when I look at my high school pictures about 90% of the clothes I am wearing come from Allena and her sister Patty’s closets. Good times.
We were roomies in college:
And she was my matron of honor in my wedding:
a truthful weekend
#44 on my Project 52 list was “make up with a specific friend.”
There wasn’t any major blow up with said friend but I had pulled away from her. You see, she is pregnant. And is 6 weeks further along than I was supposed to be. It was just too hard for me for to be around her. This weekend we went to lunch together. I rationalized that it wasn’t her fault I had a miscarriage. We had been really close friends. Our husbands are good friends.
So we went to lunch. We talked. And I spent the remainder of the day crying in my husband’s arms.
It is just so hard. Harder than I thought it would be.
And I wasn’t a good lunch companion or even a very good friend. I never once asked about her pregnancy. It was like the elephant in the room because she is now 7 months pregnant. Every time I tried to say something about it I was scared I would start crying. So I avoided it. She avoided it. It was awkward.
I feel bad.
I feel jealous.
I feel ashamed.
I feel bad because I wasn’t the friend I should have been.
I feel jealous because I still want the baby I lost.
I feel ashamed because I look at my life and everything I do have and I should be more thankful and not feel so sorry for myself.
I’m a mess, no? My feelings are all over the place and I am so confused between how I really feel and how I think I should feel.
I guess all I can do it keep reminding myself of everything I have and try harder to be a better friend while allowing myself to see my feelings as valid. She is a great friend of mine and a good person and I am just going to keep trying to be a better friend because I do care.
Thanks for letting me ramble. I know this was a downer post, especially for a Monday, but I am just being real. On another note, I hope you all have a great day.
P.S. I made this for dinner on Friday night. You should too…it was amazing!
good news….bad news….
Earlier this week my friend, Allena, did a cute “Good News….Bad News Post” and I thought it was a cute idea. So here we go:
Good News: Our December Electric Bill was only $57
Bad News: We were only here for half the month in December
Good News: I love my K-swiss K-Ona shoes more than any shoe I have owned
Bad News: I have worn them so much I super glued the bottom back on
Good News: Keith and I know some friends who will be on HGTV House Hunters next week
Bad News: It is House Hunters International because they moved to London
Good News: We got our annual Costco reward certificate back for $140
Bad News: Our annual membership is due and costs $110
Good News: I am 50% finished with my January bookclub book
Bad News: I am 50% finished with my January bookclub book (it is sooo good I don’t want it to end!)
Good News: I started my period which means I have had 2 successful cycles since my miscarriage and we can officially start trying again!
Bad News: I am on my period….blech!
Good News: I really like the new show The Firm
Bad News: That is one more show I have to find time for each week
Good News: I made the decision to stop reading blogs that make me feel bad about myself just because they are popular
Bad News: I might miss out on some good recipes or workouts (ha….but really I think I’ll live 🙂
Good News: It’s Friday
Bad News: It’s Friday the 13th!
Happy Friday! And give me your own Good News/Bad News tidbit!
blah blah blah & a treadmill
I have been feeling very blah this week when it comes to my workouts. Ever since my killer Sunday workout my motivation has been severely lacking.
Yesterday I had to literally make myself do 30 minutes of cardio.
I stepped onto the treadmill with every cell in my body just wanting to go lay on the couch and watch the Today show drinking coffee.
Sigh.
But my ass isn’t getting any smaller (said the mirror I am thinking about breaking) so the treadmill won.
Sorry Matt and Ann…maybe we can be morning buddies another day.
Here’s the deets:
minutes speed incline
0-2 4.0 3.0
2-4 5.0 3.0
4-6 4.0 5.0
6-8 5.5 5.0
8-10 4.5 5.0
10-12 6.0 6.0
12-14 5.0 5.0
14-16 4.0 6.0
16-18 5.5 5.0
18-20 7.0 5.0
20-24 4.0 8.0
24-25 4.0 6.0
And I was finished. I briefly contemplated doing something else. Anything else. But no dice. Coffee was calling my name. That was all I had to give.
I did managed to come home from work and walk another 30 minutes on the treadmill (speed 4.0/incline 4.0) while watching reruns of Brothers & Sisters. Kevin and Scotty got married. It was lovely.
Do you have a blah go-to workout that you do when motivation is a problem?
What Kelly Said 