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focusing on step one

January 6, 2013

Thank you all so much for such sweet words on my last post. You guys rock and as much as it sucks that other people are going through this too, at least I know I am not alone.

So here’s the deal.

I saw my OB/GYN on Friday and he has officially referred me and Keith to a fertility specialist clinic. At first there was no need for Keith and I to see a fertility specialist because we were getting pregnant all on our own. Albeit we were miscarrying but we were conquering the first battle of conceiving. Then I stopped having monthly cycles. Just stopped. Out of the freaking blue.

We played with my thyroid medicine after discovering through blood tests that I was over-medicated. That didn’t work. Then we did a round of Clomid. Not only did that not get me to ovulate, that didn’t even get me to have a cycle. So my OB said that we are officially out of his expertise and need to see a specialist.

There is no explanation that he can find for why this is happening. There is no reason that I cycled normally, got pregnant (twice), continued to cycle normally and then just stopped.

Our appointment with the fertility specialist isn’t until January 29th. Part of me wishes it was tomorrow but I will take what I can get at this point. Plus school starts back up on Monday and I will have work to fill my thoughts and distract me from all….this. Thank goodness!

I never thought my blog would become about chronicling my journey to be a mom. But it is what it is. Now I have t0 focus on trying to get pregnant and after that I am sure I will face an entirely new set of fears. I don’t trust my body at all. It hasn’t shown me that it can do it. In fact it has shown me the complete opposite. It freaks the eff out when it gets pregnant. But I just have to take this one step at a time. Or else I will suffocate. So step one. See the fertility specialist.

Step One.

That is all I can focus on right now. Just step one.

And until then, I can just focus on Keith, Bella, and my students at school. If I can’t be a mom to my own kids then I might as well be a teacher to someone else’s.

I’ll take it.

15 Comments leave one →
  1. January 6, 2013 9:39 am

    Hopefully the fertility specialist will help! Hang in there! You’re right; all you can do is take it one step at a time. It’s hard, I know.

  2. January 6, 2013 10:02 am

    Praying for you, Kelly!!!!

  3. January 6, 2013 10:31 am

    I hope the fertility specialist can figure out what’s going on. You have an amazing attitude. Your students are so lucky to have you!

  4. Suzanne Aydelotte permalink
    January 6, 2013 10:52 am

    Kelly, I read your blog when I can and I am completely amazed by you and your strength! Keith and Bella are so lucky to have you as their family! And, your students are incredibly lucky to have you as their teacher! Hang in there and stay strong! I will continue to keep you and Keith in my thoughts….

    Suzanne A.

  5. January 6, 2013 2:09 pm

    I’m glad you’re going to a specialist. That is definitely a step in the right direction. I have discovered that one step at a time is the best way for me to deal with anything. I’m the worst at thinking about the big picture and getting overwhelmed and upset You are on the right road my friend. Keep your chin up and I really want this for you and Keith. Stay strong!

  6. Elena permalink
    January 6, 2013 2:36 pm

    Thoughts and prayers with you and Keith. I hope things go well with the fertility specialist.
    Hugs to you

  7. Kristin permalink
    January 6, 2013 4:46 pm

    I’m glad yall are going to a fertility doctor. Ryan and I saw a great doctor in Austin and I would absolutely recommend him and his practice. So if you’re not happy with who you see in a few weeks let me know and I’ll get you the info for our doctor. I will keep praying for you to get some real answers and start working towards your end goal of being parents! If you have any questions after your appointment I’d be happy to talk with you about anything.

  8. January 6, 2013 8:25 pm


    I just wanted to stop in and give you my best wishes and that I hope 2013 brings you much health and fertility 😉

    I lost my twins at 21 weeks a little over 2 months ago and I’m still recovering emotionally and physically. We’re currently in the process of trying to get in touch with the right doctors and get some concrete answers and an action plan ready for our next pregnancy..

    This is such a hard road and I’m so terribly sorry we have to walk it together..

    • January 6, 2013 8:43 pm

      Oh Jenn, I am so sorry. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. I wish you a fabulous 2013 and hope that you find the answers you need to bring you peace. Hugs.

      • aneastcoastlife permalink
        January 6, 2013 8:49 pm

        Thanks Kelly!

        Feel free to stop by my blog if you’d like to know more about my story. I started my blog to share my experience since although my situation was very rare it still does happen and ladies need to know about these things.

        I’ll be checking in on you lady i’m crossing my fingers and keeping you and your hubby in my prayers!

  9. January 6, 2013 11:01 pm

    you know i will be praying for you. And thank you Kelly for journaling this! You are not alone. I have a feeling i will be dealing with similar issues (when we start trying) since my mom did too when she tried to conceive. Focusing on step one, yes!

  10. Elizabeth permalink
    January 7, 2013 4:10 pm

    Your situation is very similar to mine, and you are doing the right thing by being proactive with your docs and taking everything a day at a time. Feel free to email me if you ever need to- I know it can be hard to chat with friends (and even your husband!) who aren’t going through this. Good luck!!

  11. January 8, 2013 7:20 pm

    Prays sent your way for the 29th!!

  12. January 9, 2013 6:12 pm

    Thinking of you, Kel! I hope the specialist will be able to help you and give you good advice! xoxo

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