blast from the past
Thank you so much. All the comments on the blog, facebook, and instagram were really encouraging and I basically felt like everyone was just giving me permission to feel how I needed to feel. I also want to thank the people who emailed me with tips and suggestions on how to handle my anger as well as the ones offering words of support or empathy. I had a really good day yesterday. I also feel very encouraged. I am going to try some of your recommendations on how to handle this. While I know it isn’t over by any means, at least I can feel like I am proactively doing something versus just letting it overpower me.
It can be more exhausting to try to be someone you’re not or to feel a way you don’t than to just be you. So thank you for letting me be me. I think what I like the most about blogging is the insight people have to offer, the advice they have to give and the support they are willing to lend. I know that I am going to have bad days but if I can have one good day a week than that is progress and then maybe 2 or 3 and so on. Baby steps.
So thank you. Because I feel like I have lifted a weight off my shoulders and I feel, at this moment, encouraged and hopeful. I should bookmark this post for the days when I feel helpless.
Okay…moving on. That was probably enough mush for one blog post. Heh.
So I was randomly going through old emails and found one from Keith in 2004. It contained this picture:
I can’t believe that is us 8 years ago! Ha! To me, we look like babies. Upon reading the email that this was attached to I realized this was the first weekend I had gone to Dallas to see Keith! We did the long distance thing for a year and half and this was the first of MANY road trip weekends back and forth between Austin and Dallas.
I look at this picture I remember being so excited to be with Keith! For those of you who don’t know our story…here’s the quickie version. Keith’s family and my family are friends and so I have known Keith my entire life. Keith is 11 years older than I am and I developed the biggest monster crush on him when I was 15 years old. Seriously. I thought he was such a hunk! ha! (love that word) And to finally be dating Keith Bruneman was like a “somebody pinch me I must be dreaming” moment. We got married when I was 25…ten years after my first crush started. How’s that for a happy ending? 🙂 So this is a special picture because it really was the beginning.
I am so glad I found it!
It is also crazy to think about how much has changed since that picture was taken! WOW. I mean for such a short amount of time so much has happened to us. We definitely are not those same people in that picture. But I like to think for all the good and bad we are now better versions of those people. Let’s hope! 🙂
Do you have a romantic love story? Please share! I am such a sucker for those things!
What Kelly Said 
What a small world! When I met my husband he was living in Austin and I was in Arlington….we commuted for about a year before he moved up here to be with me full time. Or as he likes to say – I made him sell his condo and move here. That was 10 years ago.
Aw, that photo is so cute! I love hearing stories about couples!
I still owe you an email but haven’t forgotten about you 😀
I like to tell people that my fiance and I met through Craiglist…which we sort of did! I needed to find a new roommate after going through a breakup and turned to Craiglist. Found a great girl who was friends with this big group of people and she would invite me to hang out with all of them. There was this one guy who I thought was really cute and absolutely hilarious, but we never spoke. Honestly, maybe one time in 1.5-2 years of hanging out at the same house, we said anything to each other. Then two years ago around Halloween, it was like someone flipped the switch and we started talking and saw each other at events and then started emailing, every single day for 3 months. I had to finally kiss him because he was so nervous and from that Wednesday on we were together every day, and next June we’re getting married 😉
And regarding your last post, even though it’s definitely not the same as your situation, I could relate so much to your feelings after having gone through cancer. I was angry, devastated, pissed off, afraid, jealous of people who had a “normal” life…and wanted to know “why why why, me?” When people would say, “at least it’s not Stage 4 or at least it’s not xyz” I wanted to punch them in the face. I don’t know if you’ve given it any thought, but I found that counseling was amazingly helpful for me. It gave me a lot of tools to deal with the anger and fear. It does get better over time, but there are definitely still days when I’m pissed that I have to live with it’s after affects every day. And days like today where I feel really grateful for life (okay, enough of my book!).
Even though I may not have been an active commenter on your blog I have followed your story and your strength is inspiring. I know what you mean about the comments. It isn’t exactly the same but I HATE it when people tell me that it happened for a reason or maybe the baby was deformed and this was God’s way of taking care of the problem for me. Really?? I too want to just punch them. Sheesh. I have learned that the best and really only thing to say to someone who is suffering from a disease or a loss or whatever it is…you should simply say I am so sorry and please let me know what you need from me. Seriously…that is all you need to say!
Thanks, Kelly 🙂 Yes! I have so often wanted to hand out a printed, laminated sheet to people of “Appropriate Responses.” There’s got to be one somewhere?!
I stumbled upon your website through Instagram and let me just say WOW! I’ve been reading through a lot of your old posts like a great book I can’t put down!! I so admire the strength you possess!!
Chelsie….so sweet! Thank you so much!
I don’t have any real love stories what with the fact that I’m single and all.
BUT – there was a boy in high school who was pretty great to me before it all turned bad. We’d known each other since we were 7, and when we were 16 he found this old rope spool that he put in the garden outside my window. When I wasn’t allowed to go out, or when it was late at night, he would just sit there and talk to me all night long. It was the best thing ever, and one of my favorite memories of all time.
My husband and I met at work, Halloween night. He was dressed in normal work attire, jeans and a red polo shirt. I, on the other hand, had asked the boss if I could dress up for the kiddo’s and give out candy I had brought with me. So there he was looking completely normal and there I was, Hair ratted out, pale face paint, lots of black lipstick, a very bright, neon green feather boa, and a black and white Dr. Seuss hat.. along with an orange sweater and jeans. What a first impression to make. We talked the entire shift and started making excuses to visit each other at work when we had the day off. Then he brought his sister to meet me on Christmas eve just before I closed up shop for the night. “forgot to get soda” was the excuse, found out later that they had plenty and he just wanted to see me and have his sister meet the girl he’d been talking about for 2 months straight. Then one night in January we were leaving work and as he was walking away he says to me “one of these days I’m going to get up the courage to ask you out.” Well, I couldn’t let him just leave after that, I told him not to wait, to do it right then. So he did, and we planned out first (and only) date right then and there. The date was on January 7th, we got married March 28th the same year. A whirlwind romance. That was 2004, and I can honestly say, 8 years later, we still sit across the room and “make eyes” at each other (as my grandpa would say).
That being said, we have been trying for 6 years to conceive. It is heart breaking for me. He would love children as much as I would and he would be a wonderful father. I have had to watch young cousins of mine get pregnant, multiple times, without even trying, one was even 7 months pregnant before she even realized she was pregnant. I have PCOS and some other issues which will only make it harder for us to have a baby. I know how horrible you feel after multiple miscarriages. My husband has stood by my side through D&C’s, hormone replacement therapy, and lots of depressed days. If we can get through this, and still come out strong, together, we can get through anything. We don’t care if the baby is not “perfect”. We would love a special needs child just as we would any child.
As for help maintaining a pregnancy, my doctor has started me on a drug called Prometrium. It will not prevent you from getting pregnant even though it is a progesterone replacement. It will, however, help your body to produce the hormones that it needs in the first trimester to build a strong placenta and maintain a pregnancy. Maybe this will help you, if you are not already on it. It is a fairly commonly used medication. Maybe worth asking about.
Love the romantic story above! Very cute! 🙂
As for the pregnancy situation…I am so sorry. I hate that you (or anyone) has to suffer through something like this. As for Prometrium I took it both times I was pregnant although my body was making it;s own progesterone both times. My levels were through the roof but just as a precaution I took Prometrium as well and (well) it obviously didn’t work for me. But thank you for the information.
Love that! Way back when I met my fiance at my graduation party through a friend. I had a huge crush on him for years but always thought he was out of my league. Fast forward two years of hanging out in groups and I came to find out he had a crush on me the whole time too! It came to light when I had a nasty case of vocal chord nodules and he decided to bring me ice cream to make my throat feel better. He didn’t know what I would want so he showed up with a half dozen containers of ice cream and we spent the rest of the night watching movies and cracking each other up. We started dating that spring and after four years are getting married this fall! 🙂
Oh now THAT is too cute! 🙂
Lee and I met because we were both in our friends’ wedding. I was the maid of honor and he was the best man so we were partners. Fast forward three years and we are getting married at that same place where we met! 🙂