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not going to lie

November 9, 2011

I’m not going to lie to you; I’m in a little funk today.

I thought about hiding behind my blog and posting a real “happy happy joy joy” post and then decided I didn’t have the energy.

Yesterday we got all the medical bills.

Holy Shit.

I can’t even being to tell you how frustrating it is to have these bills and to get nothing in return. Lots of money (lots of money) but no baby.

No anything in fact.

Both the husband and I are self-employed so our insurance is obviously not as great as company group insurance. And that sucks. Isn’t America supposed to reward small business owners. Aren’t they supposed to be the backbone of the economy?

So why then are we so punished when it comes to healthcare?

I am sick to my stomach right now and just defeated.

So defeated.

The miscarriage was bad; the money it took to do it even worse. It was cheaper for me to chop off my finger last year and have it reattached than it was for this procedure.

I wish I could be more cheerful.

I’m sorry.

Maybe tomorrow.

21 Comments leave one →
  1. November 9, 2011 7:59 am

    Au contraire…no need to feign cheerfulness; your honesty on this blog is a breath of fresh air in blog-land and a reason why I read it. It’s perfectly acceptable and reasonable to be pretty glum about that situation. It sucks. I’m sorry you have to compound the emotional and physical trauma with financial stress as well. The good thing about bad situations (and moods) is that they eventually end. Hope things start looking sunnier soon:)

    • November 9, 2011 4:42 pm

      Thanks Jenn! So many people comment about my honesty but I just don’t know how to be any other way. I appreciate you comment so much!

  2. November 9, 2011 8:04 am


  3. November 9, 2011 9:02 am

    Healthcare really is awful. My husband is self-employed and doesn’t even have it, and my spousal coverage isn’t any better than like cobra.
    Keep your head up, love. It will get better.

  4. November 9, 2011 9:04 am

    Ugh I’m sorry, healthcare really is awful. There’s nothing worse than getting unexpected bills and having to make payments you didn’t allot for.

  5. November 9, 2011 10:03 am

    That is just awful – what a way to pour salt in your wounds. No need to fake happiness. The more people talk about these things, the better.

  6. November 9, 2011 10:04 am

    Oh that just sucks. I’m so sorry you have to deal with all this.

  7. November 9, 2011 10:10 am

    They should let people with good insurance cover their friends – I’d so put you on my insurance!! I love the first comment – especially what she said about bad things and bad moods always coming to an end!

  8. November 9, 2011 10:30 am

    I hate this post for you 😦 I know so many people who have been in similar situations– healthcare just sucks, especially when you’re self-employed. Thinking about you, girl.

  9. November 9, 2011 12:54 pm

    😦 This sucks. I’m sad and angry for you! You’re right! You work hard, why not get all the same benefits!? I wish things could get better….wish time, I know they will. Just take it one day/step at a time. There is a plan for you.

  10. November 9, 2011 2:44 pm

    There’s no rush, you stay in a funk as long as you want. Healthcare in this country does suck I totally agree.

  11. November 9, 2011 4:38 pm

    I’m sorry you have to deal with this Kelly but maybe I can help a little….

    I have a friend that called up the doctor and asked to make arrangements to pay the bill off over time, which they were willing to do. Then they also said that if she paid in full they would take 20% off the bill. Sooo… my point is, maybe you can call and negotiate a little lower bill. I know it can’t fix your heart but maybe your pocketbook a little.

    And I’m totally not trying to be insensitive… just helpful!

    • November 9, 2011 4:40 pm

      Not insensitive at all Tara! I am definitely going to be talking with the hospital billing department to try to have some of the bill “forgiven.” Unfortunately last year when I chopped off my finger we had to do some negotiating as well. It just is annoying and it sucks. You know?

  12. Maren permalink
    November 9, 2011 9:31 pm

    I love the honesty. I totally agree that small business owners aren’t given the justice they deserve. I went to the doctor for my broken foot and with the xrays, visit, and boot, it was over $300 WITH insurance. Totally ridiculous. Hang in there Kelly!! It will all be worth it in the end. Tomorrow is a new day!

  13. November 9, 2011 9:45 pm

    Sorry friend. Hope tomorrow brings a smile or two.

  14. November 10, 2011 5:56 pm

    Just a little something to brighten your mood:

    Whenever I am in a funky mood I come here and I always find something to laugh my butt off at.

  15. November 10, 2011 10:20 pm

    oh gosh, i feel ya on the health care and medical bills. It is frustrating! but you are investing in so much more, and that will pay off. I just know it. xoxo

  16. November 12, 2011 3:53 pm

    Oh Kelly, I’m so sorry! Nothing is worse than dealing with insurance companies. I can’t imagine having to deal with money involving a tragedy that you weren’t expecting. Hang in there!

  17. January 5, 2012 1:52 pm

    I had the same experience, and was so angry at how much we paid with nothing to show for it! And that’s even through my employer which is a HUGE corporation. I’m sure yours is way more expensive. I hope they are able to defer the payment or something like that to help yall out.


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