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putting one foot in front of the other

October 31, 2011

Hey guys. First I have to say thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I have some amazing friends. Truly.

Everyday it gets better. I am coming to terms with what happened. I feel like I have accepted that I am no longer pregnant. The hardest part is the fear. Fear of the unknown. Fear of what mine and Keith’s future holds.

But I am married to an amazing man. And after lots of crying and lots of talking we have both decided to treat this time as a gift. A gift to spend more time with one another. More time to just be “Kelly and Keith” and more time to celebrate and love each other.

I saw a quote on Caitlin’s blog that really struck a chord with me. It said, “Nobody can go back and make a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.”

I can’t change what happened. But I can put one foot in front of the other and keep going. I can continue to live my life, love my husband and count the blessings I do have. I can listen to the doctor, let my body heal and try again in 3-4 months.

I learned that my relationship with Keith is even stronger than I thought. We are amazing together. I am lucky. With him by my side I can get through anything and one day we will be parents. Just not today.

Thank you all for sticking by me. Thank you all for the emails, comments and tweets. I know I didn’t respond to you all but it meant so much to me. So much.

And thank you, Allena and Patty, for helping me. Thank you.

I can’t promise that everyday will be sunshine and rainbows but I can promise that I will survive this and it will make me a better mom for having gone through this when I get my chance one day.

Regular blogging will resume tomorrow. I don’t want t dwell but I had to say thank you for the incredible support I received.

 

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19 Comments leave one →
  1. October 31, 2011 6:55 am

    Hey Kelly, I meant to write before. I read what was going on while I was at work (I can’t comment there) and things got crazy for me. This is not a good excuse, but I forgot to comment. I am so incredibly sorry for yours and Keith’s loss. I had a very similar situation happen to me in between Max and Jay. It was a week before Christmas and all of my family was coming for the holidays. I was 12 weeks pregnant and I thought I was going to be able to announce the big news. Tony and I were devastated. I almost felt worse for Tony because he had to tell everyone while I just sobbed for weeks. The feeling of walking into the hospital pregnant and leaving not was so heartbreaking. The doctor said that I was starting to dilate on my own and would have bleed soon. What a nightmare. We lost another one three months after that at 5 weeks. The fear and sadness was almost more than I could handle. After working with my doctor, we found the problem and we were lucky enough to have Max. That was a horrible time in my life. I would not wish that on anyone. My thoughts are with you two. My heart breaks for you, but I do appreciate you telling your story. Really, when all of this happened to me, I had no idea how common it was. I felt incredibly alone. I’m always here if you need anything. I’m sending so many hugs your way!

  2. October 31, 2011 8:23 am

    Kelly I have a hard time putting my feelings/thoughts into words, so I am struggling with what to say but I feel like I have so much to say to you. Thank you for sharing this and I am so sorry for your and Keith’s loss. I cannot imagine what this feels like. Please know that you both are in my thoughts and prayers.

    • October 31, 2011 1:36 pm

      Holly….just you sweet comment is enough. 🙂 Thank you for all your support.

  3. October 31, 2011 8:23 am

    I’m glad you are starting to feel better, and trying to focus on the positive for right now. 🙂 More hugs.

  4. October 31, 2011 8:51 am

    There is a quote by Elisabeth Elliot about living through grief and she says something to the extent of ‘Just do what’s next. And then do what’s next after that.’ I think about that often. If I can imagine how I will get through a day/week, I just focus on doing what’s next, what’s immediately needed, and, somehow, you get through. And often end up stronger and wiser.

    I’m glad you and Keith have each other. You two will be phenomenal parents some day.

  5. October 31, 2011 9:32 am

    You’re so strong, Kelly. I know you and Keith will come out of this even stronger and closer than you were before.

  6. October 31, 2011 9:48 am

    Your attitude is amazing. Seriously. I am really moved by your strength. And you are so right about everything, just have faith, girl.

  7. October 31, 2011 11:43 am

    You definitely have the right attitude. You will get through this, and you will be a parent. Never give up hope.

  8. October 31, 2011 1:17 pm

    Yes your attitude is amazing! I just cannot imagine. Hard to see any light in it, but I am sure faith and patience will get you through.

  9. Camilla permalink
    October 31, 2011 3:15 pm

    HUGS! ❤

  10. October 31, 2011 3:28 pm

    Just wanted to say that I love you and am glad you are feeling more at peace right now.

  11. October 31, 2011 3:35 pm

    Love you to pieces!

  12. October 31, 2011 9:08 pm

    Hey Kelly, I just caught up on what’s been going on and am so sorry for your loss! You are such a strong woman and I know this is just a little bump in the road. You’ll get there. And when it finally happens for you, everything will be right. 🙂 Love ya, lady!

  13. November 1, 2011 6:07 am

    been thinking so much of you guys.

  14. November 1, 2011 2:44 pm

    I’m so happy to hear that you’re feeling better. You have an amazing attitude! ❤

  15. November 1, 2011 5:09 pm

    I love you and have been thinking about you guys…and I suppose that is all for now. There will be happier times. xoxo

  16. November 1, 2011 7:26 pm

    Just catching up on reading posts, and wow, I’m so sorry to hear this happened to you and Keith Kelly. You are a strong lady!

  17. November 1, 2011 9:23 pm

    Big internet hugs, keep taking it a day a time…I love your resilient attitude!

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