what i know
Well let me be the first to say Happy Valentine’s Day a week late.
Oops.
Seriously, life as teacher gets so busy that days run into weeks and then weeks into months and then I am left looking at a calendar wondering how on earth it could possibly be February. And mid-to-late February to boot!
But, I hope you all a terrific day filled with whatever makes you the happiest.
Things are good. I got sick back at the end of January and I am still fighting it. I work in germ factory. Just when I am starting to feel better some cutie pie wraps his/her arms around me and promptly sneezes spraying me with all kinds of germs. Soap, Purell and Clorox have become staple vocabulary words in my second grader’s repertoire.
The good news is that this week I feel like I am on an upswing. So keep your fingers crossed that no stray sneezes make their way onto me. 😉
I found out a good friend of mine is pregnant. She is a sweet friend who also suffered a miscarriage trying to her have her first baby. I should be thrilled for her and I am! But I would also be lying if I told you that I didn’t shed some private tears at how badly I want what she has. I really have nothing to report on that front. Keith and I have seen the fertility specialist and are in the middle of the long and tedious process of testing. We are both having every conceivable test run and it is going to take a little bit longer to get all the information collected, sorted and dealt with. Sometimes I just feel like this is never going to happen. And then other times I feel like I should be cherishing this incredible time I have with Keith because it won’t always be just the two of us.
I sometimes think my heart and my brain aren’t on speaking terms, as they constantly contradict on another. What can I say, it’s hard. And it stinks. That pretty much sums it up.
In other news, on the recommendation from a coworker I downloaded and read Delirium. DANG! I am hooked. I love a good book and, even more, trilogies! I’ve already downloaded book 2 and pre-ordered book 3. Did I mention that I liked it? I also finished my book on tape, Water For Elephants. So good yet so sad. I have heard differing opinions about the movie so I doubt I will see it. I hate it when a movie ruins a good book for me.
And other than that, you are caught up. Could I possibly be any more pathetic?! ha! Teaching, Reading, Fertility…and that would be my life. 😉
What Kelly Said 
Sorry you are feeling the way you are, I understand as I’m in the same position, though a little earlier in my ‘journey’ (at almost a year it feels like forever!). When a work friend recently told me she is pregnant with twins, I was happy for her as she had a miscarriage last year, but then I cried my whole walk home from work. You just can’t help how you feel, and it’s not wrong to feel that way x
i love how honest you are with your feelings kelly. hold tight. feel the pain. and good things will happen. i just know it! xoxoxox
A word of encouragement on the germ factory front…after the first year of teaching, your immune system is basically a badass powerhouse, so you won’t get sick NEARLY as often. Maybe not at all. It’s kind of cool how that works.
Also, on the fertility front. Ugggggh. I KNOW. I just found out that like 37903847 of my friends are pregnant and had a crying metldown at lunch. At a restaurant. My poor husband. I’m so sorry that miscarriages and infertility are a thing in this world. So, so sorry.
Big hugs to ya.
Happy to see this update! Sorry to hear you’ve been ill…then combine that with being happy & sad for a friend at the same time. We’re in the beginning stages of fertility “stuff” right now too, so I know how frustrating it can be to see all your pregnant friends so happy. Crossing my fingers for your tests! And BTW, Water for Elephants is one of my favorite books of all time and I LOVED the movie…just my two cents.
Hey Kelly, if you ever want to bitch openly (and unfairly) about other people having kids when you aren’t, I’m a good sounding board. After my first baby, I got cancer. When all my other friends were having another, I had chemo instead. Your reasons are different (I don’t know details but never heard you say the C word) but I know the pain of my friends having kids when I couldn’t. XOXOXOX I hope it all works out!
i firmly believe that God has a perfect plan and perfect time for you two! You know i am here for you, always. Hugs friend! keep me posted!