thoughts, feelings and behavior
Someone really awesome introduced me to the thoughts, feelings and behavior theory. Have you heard of that? It’s the theory that our thoughts create our feelings which in turn influence our behaviors therefore reinforcing our thoughts. It is a cycle that we can (and have) all been caught in.
This can work for or against you. Let’s start with the positive example: You look the mirror and your thought is I look really pretty today. This makes you feel good about yourself and the behavior is you put a little extra effort into your appearance that day. That reinforces the thought that you look pretty. See?
But it can also work against you. Let’s use the same example but change the thought. You look in the mirror and your thought is I am so ugly. This makes you feel bad about yourself and the behavior is to put no effort into your appearance that day. That reinforces the thought that you think you look ugly. Make sense?
It is such a simple concept but one in which I had never heard before a few weeks ago. But it makes TOTAL sense. I like logical diagrams like that. They work for me. When I have a negative thought or am acting in a negative way I like being about to figure out where it came from and change my thought process. This is a new concept for me. Instead of just accepting that it is going to be a bad day I now have tools to figure out where the feeling came from and what my thoughts were. It helps. It helps me to get out of funks when I find myself in one. I am not by nature a positive, glass half full kind of girl. But I feel like with this tool I can change my mindset instead of just accepting it. And that, for me, is huge.
I am not perfect at it by any means. And sometimes even when I can trace the thought and know I am being illogical it still won’t change anything. But sometimes it does. Sometimes I can break the cycle and right now sometimes is good enough. Sometimes is a building block and eventually sometimes will turn into most of the time.