a conversation
The husband: I got my allergy test results back today.
Me: Oh yeah?
The husband: Yup, I am allergic to grass, cedar, and cats.
Me: Wow. That sucks.
The husband: Yeah, but wait, do you know what I am most allergic to?
Me: No.
The husband: Dust mites.
Me: Dust mites?
The husband: Yup. Dust mites.
Me: Why do you sound so triumphant?
The husband: Because I know where all the dust mites are and how to fix the problem.
Me: Our mattress? We really do need a new one. Preferably a king.
The husband: No, not the mattress. It’s Mr. Bear.
Me: Oh no. Not Mr. Bear.
The husband: Yes. It is time, Kelly. You need to get rid of Mr. Bear.
Me: No.
The husband: We are talking about my health here! I’m allergic.
Me: No.
The husband: KELLY! It’s a stuffed animal.
Me: But I love him. I have slept with him since sixth grade.
The husband: My point.
Me: No.
The husband. {sigh} The doctor said that if you put your pillows and stuffed animals in the freezer for 24-48 hours it will kill the dust mites. You have to do it periodically.
Me: NO WAY! Mr. Bear will get cold.
The husband: Mr. Bear isn’t REAL! He can’t get cold.
Me: Yes he can. I can’t put him in the freezer! How would you feel is someone stuck you in the freezer!
The husband: Kelly. It’s me or the bear.
Me: {silence}
The husband: KELLY!
Me: I’m thinking!!! I sleep with him every night. I don’t think I could sleep without Mr. Bear. He’s the best bear ever and he makes me happy. I mean haven’t you ever had that one stuffed animal that you loved so much?
The husband: Yes I have….and then I turned five.
Notice the Colts socks Mr. Bear wears. We are both Colt supporters and avid Peyton Manning fans. And Mr. Bear is still sleeping in our bed. The husband swears the itching is getting worse. He is such a CEO (Chief Exaggerating Officer).
drama mama
What’s up? Currently I am blogging from Starbucks…thank you free WiFi…and lot so coffee because my house is being cleaned. And as with all things “Kelly” there is a story there.
You see, I will full on admit that I am not a cleaner. I hate it, I hate it so much that usually Keith cleans with me just so I don’t have to remind him that I cleaned the house alone. Yeah…I am that wife. When we bought our house 4 years ago I demanded begged for a cleaning service. Keith, in the oh-we-just-got-married-6-months-ago-and-I -can’t-say-no-to-my-beautiful-bride stage, said yes! I was in heaven! Every 2 weeks a crew came and while I was at work cleaned my house from top to bottom. My favorite days were walking into the door and smelling the fresh lemon scent of cleanliness. Nevermind that I had to keep rearranging my picture frames (after 1 year you would have thought at some point they would have remembered where things went) it was clean and I didn’t have to do it. Roll your eyes if you want…I am not denying my brattiness. Rememeber…I have been dubbed Bratty McBratterson.
Anyway….one night I came home from work. I was tired but my house had been cleaned! Hallelujah! I ate dinner with a smile on my face, kissed Keith goodnight and trudged upstairs to unplug before going to bed. Every night before hopping in bed to read I would take my birth control pill. That night was no different. I brushed my teeth, washed my face and opened my birth control pack only to find it empty?? What the hell? I had just refilled the prescription the day before. I know I did. I went downstairs and asked Keith about it, to which I got a blank stare. Then it was like a thought passed between us…surely the housekeeper didn’t steel an entire pack of fresh birth control pills. My pills. Really? Surely not.
Keith was convinced that I had just misplaced them, but c’mon ladies you don’t save empty birth control pill packs…you throw them out right? I knew I had refilled it and I knew they were now gone. After some tears of frustration Keith called the company and asked to speak with the manager. He assured us his daughter (the lady who cleaned out house) did not take those pills. Awkward situation no doubt. I hung up frustrated and annoyed. I called the Pharmacy and asked if I could get another pack and it was comfirmed that I had just purchased a pack the day before. But my insurance only approves one pack a month. In the end I had to pay full (non insured) rates for my birth control pack. Annoyed.
The next night during dinner, our doorbell rings. And there on my door is the man and his daughter. She sheepishly hands me back a half empty pack of pills and he refunds our money from the cleaning the day before. He apologizes profusely. She never looks me in the eye because we both know the pack was full and now it is half empty. But I don’t say anything. I figure she is already in enough trouble. Keith and I discuss and realize that we can’t ask them to come back. A trust had been broken and we no longer felt comfortable with them in our home. Granted it was ony birth control pills but it still made us very uneasy. Keith assured me we would find another cleaning service, not to worry.
That was 3 years ago and we haven’t had another cleaning service since. Had I known that that incident would stop me from getting another housekseeper I would have bought the birth control pills for the woman myself! Keith is no longer in that oh-we-just-got-married-6-months-ago-and-I -can’t-say-no-to-my-beautiful-bride stage and has now moved into the we’ve-been-married-5-years-the-economy-sucks-and-we-don’t-need-to-spend-money-on-a-cleaning-service stage. [Insert wails from Kelly].
So, for Christmas my mom got me a 8 hour detailed house cleaning (yes I asked for this) and today is the day I cashed in! BLISS! Hummm, I wonder if they will work for birth control pills?
**Edited to add: I did not mean to offend anyone with the term “maid” and have changed the language to be more respectful of that profession.**
oh my pizza
Friday was the husband’s birthday and we celebrated in typical fashion (for us) by making homemade pizza and watching March Madness. Followed by copious amounts of chocolate cake and mint chocolate chip ice cream. We’re so exciting, no? Actually it was perfect. We sat on the patio, talked, ate and laughed. Birthdays rock!
But I wanted to share one of the pizza recipes we made. Allena are you listening? I love (let me actually say LOVE) butternut squash and I am sad the winter squash season is coming to an end. But I still have a few winter squashes and wanted to put them to good use. I loosely followed the recipe from Real Simple (love them by the way) for Butternut Squash Pizza. And oh. my. goodness. This is fabulous!
(I will fully admit that I have not mastered the art of photography with my outdated point and shoot so above is Real Simple’s photo and mine is below. Are you cringing Ashley?)
Butternut Squash Pizza adapted from Real Simple
Serves 6
1 butternut squash, peeled
1 small yellow onion, sliced into 1/4 inch thick rings
1 Tbsp. olive oil
Increase oven temperature to 450° F. Roll the dough out 1/4 inch thick. Clean the baking sheet and sprinkle it with the cornmeal. Place the dough on top. Scatter the squash and onion mixture over the dough, sprinkle with the thyme, and slices of mozzarella. Bake until golden, about 25 minutes. Slice into wedges.
My Homemade Yeast-Free Pizza Dough
2 cups all-purpose flour
1 tbsp baking powder
1/4 tsp salt
2/3 cup water
1 tbsp cooking oil
Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Prepare pizza pan by spraying with non-stick cooking spray. Combine dry ingredients in mixing bowl. Add liquids and stir to incorporate dry ingredients. Knead dough by hand 6-8 times on a lightly floured surface. Roll dough thinly. Place rolled dough onto prepared pizza pan. Brush crust with olive oil and add favorite sauce and toppings. Bake at 400 degrees for 18-20 minutes, depending on crust thickness or according to pizza recipe directions.
Did I mention that birthdays rock?
love.
What Kelly Said 