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a conversation

March 30, 2011

The husband: I got my allergy test results back today.

Me: Oh yeah?

The husband: Yup, I am allergic to grass, cedar, and cats.

Me: Wow. That sucks.

The husband: Yeah, but wait, do you know what I am most allergic to?

Me: No.

The husband: Dust mites.

Me: Dust mites?

The husband: Yup. Dust mites.

Me: Why do you sound so triumphant?

The husband: Because I know where all the dust mites are and how to fix the problem.

Me: Our mattress? We really do need a new one. Preferably a king.

The husband: No, not the mattress. It’s Mr. Bear.

Me: Oh no. Not Mr. Bear.

The husband: Yes. It is time, Kelly. You need to get rid of Mr. Bear.

Me: No.

The husband: We are talking about my health here! I’m allergic.

Me: No.

The husband: KELLY! It’s a stuffed animal.

Me: But I love him. I have slept with him since sixth grade.

The husband: My point.

Me: No.

The husband. {sigh} The doctor said that if you put your pillows and stuffed animals in the freezer for 24-48 hours it will kill the dust mites. You have to do it periodically.

Me: NO WAY! Mr. Bear will get cold.

The husband: Mr. Bear isn’t REAL! He can’t get cold.

Me: Yes he can. I can’t put him in the freezer! How would you feel is someone stuck you in the freezer!

The husband: Kelly. It’s me or the bear.

Me: {silence}

The husband: KELLY!

Me: I’m thinking!!! I sleep with him every night. I don’t think I could sleep without Mr. Bear. He’s the best bear ever and he makes me happy. I mean haven’t you ever had that one stuffed animal that you loved so much?

The husband: Yes I have….and then I turned five.

 

Notice the Colts socks Mr. Bear wears. We are both Colt supporters and avid Peyton Manning fans. And Mr. Bear is still sleeping in our bed. The husband swears the itching is getting worse. He is such a CEO (Chief Exaggerating Officer).

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12 Comments leave one →
  1. March 30, 2011 8:48 am

    Mr. Bear is so sweet! And he looks like he is in great shape! Most stuffed animals I had in grade school are totally destroyed and have been sewn up plenty of times.

    This was my favorite quote: “The husband: Mr. Bear isn’t REAL!”

  2. March 30, 2011 8:51 am

    awww, i have my own version on Mr. Bear… his name is Teddy. He is slowly falling apart, but he is the best bear ever!

  3. March 30, 2011 10:49 am

    And then I turned 5….HAHAHA.

    Keith rules. You can tell him I said that.

  4. March 30, 2011 11:15 am

    hahahaha I still sleep with a stuffed dog. Tell Keith to sleep with a mask on, he’ll be fine. 🙂

  5. March 30, 2011 12:38 pm

    haha! So fun! And we ladies always win. 😀

  6. March 30, 2011 5:29 pm

    Hahaha, I love this. I can see why it took you a few minutes to ponder if he should go in the freezer or not!

  7. March 30, 2011 5:41 pm

    LMAO.

    The best part:

    “The husband: Yes I have….and then I turned five.”

  8. March 30, 2011 9:56 pm

    Hil-arious! I needed this.

    Mr. Bear is adorable….I hope he survives. I’d dump the mattress before him 🙂

  9. March 31, 2011 8:06 am

    haha omg I love stuffed animals but I can’t sleep with them…they always get tossed aside. I only have ONE now but I used to have millions! hahaha

  10. March 31, 2011 2:01 pm

    I have the biggest grin. This post made my day 🙂

  11. April 1, 2017 5:04 pm

    That is unbelievable that is your soul mate forever for life

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