my baby must have list
Here’s a list of all my newborn must haves. All of these have saved us at some point or another these last 2 months.
The Miracle Blanket Swaddle: I was convinced that Trey hated the swaddled. He would scream anytime we tried to swaddle him. I was looking online for help and everything I read said it’s not the swaddle it’s the swaddler. Well great. But what we noticed was that Trey hated having his legs swaddled so after talking to Allena we switched to the Miracle Blanket. Trey LOVES it! In fact whenever he’s having a fit putting him in it instantly calms him. Miracle indeed!
Trey in the bouncer swaddled in the Miracle Blanket.
Bouncer: We use the bouncer for everything!! Trey even sleeps in the bouncer (although we’re planning to transition to the crib soon). Again, it calms him down and he loves the bouncing motion especially at night when we are trying to get him down. And it has saved me when I’m home alone with him during the day and need to pump. Trey likes to be held but the bouncer gives me the 15 minute break I need to pump.
Zipper Footies: So this was a surprise to me. At night we always put Trey in zipper footies. Footies because it’s cold and the zipper because it makes nighttime changing easier! We don’t turn on any lights during nighttime feedings in order not to stimulate him and doing snaps on footies doesn’t work! So the zipper makes it so much easier! We have 4 and just rotate through them at night.
Aiden and Anais Blankets: these are awesome for spit up! I don’t use burp cloths. (They’re too small!) Instead I just drape one of these long blankets over my shoulder to carry him around. I also use them to wipe his face and burp him. I usually get a clean one every morning and use that same one all day.
Soothie Pacifiers: these are Trey’s favorites. He won’t take any other kind. I swear we have one in every room.
A noise machine: I fought this! I was determined that Trey would not need a noise machine to go to sleep. I was scared of creating a sleep crutch. Well my own lack of sleep won out and we got one. Best thing ever. The white noise helps him go down (at night…remember my baby doesn’t do daytime naps) and it also helps drown out other noises made around the house. I got one that plugs in so it plays continuously. It also has a timer option where it will automatically shut off after either 60, 30 or 15 minutes. Eventually we’ll start transitioning to using the timer.
It’s funny because these things I consider to be must haves! I wonder what people did before all this fancy stuff was invented?? Ha!
marriage with a newborn
Before Keith and I had a baby I used to get so upset with people who would associate a baby with the decline of marriage. I literally was adamant about how a baby would not change my marriage for the worse. We would still make time for each other, have sex, and be happy. So here we are 7 weeks post Trey and I want to update you on my thoughts about marriage with a newborn.
First, Keith and I have been together for 9 1/2 years and married for 7 1/2. The first year of dating we both had roommates but after that first year we moved in together and it’s been just us ever since. Over the years we’ve fallen into a very predictable routine that we’ve shaped our married lives around. We’ve been happy and I considered us to be a very good team.
Enter Trey. I realize now that we were not a team but rather two individuals. Two individuals who loved one another, got along and were happy. But we were not a team. We didn’t need one another to perform everyday tasks or to make it through the day.
Having a baby has absolutely positively changed our marriage. I realize now we are a team. Now we operate as a twosome not as individuals. For example, every night Keith feeds Trey his bottle while I pump, or Keith takes Trey while I take a shower and maybe even shave my legs (ha!). I depend on Keith to get normal everyday things done. That is the definition of teamwork. Having a baby has brought new meaning to how much we need one another and that has strengthened our marriage.
Second, seeing Keith as a dad is amazing!! As Trey gets older we both get more confident. I’m amazed at how much more confident we are now at just 7 weeks versus when we brought him home from the hospital. Knowing that Keith is a daddy makes him oh so sexy in my opinion. Finding your husband sexy is never bad for a marriage. 😉😍
Do I miss it just being us? Yes and no. Yes because it was easy. We went to dinner when we wanted, did what we wanted, plans were easy to make and we didn’t have to factor anyone else in. But now that we have Trey I feel like something was missing and Trey has completed our family. Me, Keith, Trey and Bella are a family and I wouldn’t change one thing about it. It’s perfect and hard and messy and the best thing we’ve ever done. And we’re doing it together.
So to all those people who wanted me to know how much my marriage would change…you’re right. It did change. It changed a lot but it changed for the better and Keith and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
what i wish someone had told me
It’s no secret that life with a baby changes everything. And I mean everything! But here’s a list of 10 things that surprised me and I wish someone had told me.
1. Switch your closet back before the baby is born! You won’t need your maternity clothes after about a week and it is way easier to get your closet organized without a newborn.
2. You will need to schedule time to do normal everyday things like showering, eating, paying bills, etc. Seriously you can’t just wake up and take a shower, curl your hair, etc…
3. Newborns go to bed really late! Trey goes down for the night between 10:30-11:00. Who knew?
4. It takes a village! Don’t think you can do it alone. You can’t. Ask for help and when people offer to help you, LET THEM!
5. You will spend a lot of time pacing your floor. Newborns like movement so sitting still on the couch doesn’t make for a happy baby.
6. You will eat a lot of meals standing up. But hey isn’t that better for digestion?
7. Swaddling isn’t as easy as it looks. Get familiar with whatever swaddle you choose to use before you need to use it.
8. You are going to be seriously sleep deprived. Now obviously I knew this but until you experience it it is impossible to describe how exhausted you will be. I would suggest going out getting drunk getting only 3 hours of sleep and try to function at top performance the next day. Keep repeating that cycle for an indefinite period of time.
9. You will cry a lot at first. It’s hard and scary and overwhelming and your hormones are all over the place. You will cry and it’s okay. But it’s all worth it. 🙂
10. Target brand diapers work better than any brand name diaper in my opinion. Blow outs are inevitable but when it stays in the diaper that’s always preferred.
life (with a newborn) update
Oh blogging…where to find the time? Ha!
I know I’ve been MIA but seriously blogging with a newborn is hard. At least with mine. 😉
So how have things been? Well, Trey is 5 weeks old and it’s the happiest, most exhausted, most overwhelmed and most amazed I have ever been. All at once. People weren’t lying when they said the newborn phase is hard. But they also weren’t lying when they say it’s amazing.
Let’s break it down by category:
Breast Feeding: I’ve had a hard time with it. I produce a ton of milk but Trey absolutely will not take the boob. We’ve tried everything under the sun and met with a lactation consultant several times. He just won’t latch. This has meant I’m exclusively pumping. It’s hard…probably the hardest part. Every time he eats I pump right afterwards. So every feeding takes longer and at night time it is especially trying. But the bright side is that he is only getting breast milk and I produce so much I’ve already created quite the stockpile in my freezer for when I go back to work. I just keep having to remind myself that it’s worth it and not to throw in the towel. But let’s just say that when I am finished breast feeding I plan to burn the breast pump! Ha! 🙂 It’s a love/hate relationship for sure.
Sleep: We’re following the book The Baby 90 Minute Sleep Program. It is working for us and it helps keep me (a schedule lover) semi sane. At night Trey is sleeping in 3-4 hour stretches and while I wish it was more like 4-5 hour stretches I’m going to take what I can get. During the day is harder because he isn’t a fan of his crib during the day (at least he likes it at night though right??) and wants to take naps on me. I use the Ergo A LOT! Trey also when awake will not use any device like a bouncer, swing, or activity mat for longer than 20 minutes so it’s a challenge to always be holding him…again the Ergo has saved me. He liked the Moby for about a week but then decided the Ergo was more his style. 🙂
Body After Baby: I ended up gaining 30 pounds. To date I’ve lost 22 pounds and have 8 to go. At 5 weeks post partum, I pretty happy with that. Although things are softer than they once were I know with time it will firm back up. I also wore a post partum girdle for the first 3 weeks and that helped my stomach tremendously! It also helped my back since my stomach muscles weren’t as strong as they once were. I would highly recommend wearing one to anyone after labor for at least 2-4 weeks.
Bella: She is adjusting. It’s been hard on her because she hasn’t gotten the amount of attention she was used to. Plus there is a noisy new addition! But she’s been great! She licks Trey and comes running when he starts crying! I am so excited to see Trey grow up with Bella by his side. Makes my heart smile.
Keith: he has been AMAZING! He gets up with me and does every night feeding while I pump. He’s great at helping and I feel like we’re a good team. I will admit that at times I get jealous because he has a little more freedom than mom does but he’s a great dad and I wouldn’t want to be sharing this with anyone else but him!
So that’s most of it at this point. Lots of crying (me and Trey…ha!), lots of pooping, lots of broken sleep, lots of adjusting. But….everyone says the first 3 months are the hardest. I still can’t believe I’m a mama!! My life has changed forever and I’m still a little bit in awe.
What Kelly Said 