update: bella edition

Before I had Trey people would tell me all the time that Bella was going to take a back seat in my life once he was born. That used to make me so mad! I wrote this post saying how it was not going to happen. 

A quick recap for those of you who don’t know but Bella was a rescue dog. The second time I was pregnant Keith and I had gone in for our 10 week appointment and there was no heartbeat. I couldn’t believe this was happening to me again. I was literally at the lowest of lows in my life. The next day I looked at Keith and told him I needed a dog. I needed something to mother. So the day before my D&C we went to the animal shelter and picked Bella. She was perfect. 

She saved me. She gave me new hope and meaning. I mothered her. I loved her. She became my little savior. I know I would have eventually been okay but she helped me to heal. Helped me to grieve and helped me to see that life, although sometimes unfair, was still beautiful. 

So when I got pregnant the third time and we made it past the first trimester everyone started commenting on how Bella was going to be second in my life. I could not fathom it. So here’s my update on life with Trey and Bella. 

First, it makes my heart sing that Bella is going to be Trey’s first best friend. I can’t wait for them to start playing with each other. Right now they are both still very curious. Bella is more interested in any leftover formula Trey has on his body so she can lick it up and Trey just lets her. Neither is scared of the other and I’m so glad that Trey will grow up around dogs. And a big dog at that! (Bella is 80 pound of love!) 

Before Trey, Bella would sleep in our bed every night, get a least 2 walks a day (one for over an hour each night), go to daycare 3-4 days a week while we were at work, and go to the dog park every weekend! She had a sweet life! Now, her life has definitely changed. She doesn’t sleep in our bed anymore (but that’s because she would rather sleep in Trey’s room…my heart explodes just typing that sentence), she only goes to day care 1-2 days a week, and her evening walk has shortened from an hour to more like 30 minutes. She still goes to the dog park on the weekends although we don’t stay for hours like we did before. In short she’s not our only child anymore. ha! 

The adjustment has been hard on her. Those first few months she was definitely depressed. I also was so focused on Trey and being a new mommy that she got very little attention from me. It was obviously unintentional but it happened nonetheless. Now I try very hard to still make her feel special. I try to love on her as often as I can. I try to let her know that there is room in my heart for her and Trey both. But it’s been an adjustment for us all. She definitely is not the only one in our lives anymore. 

I don’t think all those people were right per say. I don’t think Bella is less important to me now. I think my friend, Belle, hit the nail on the head when she told me that the love I feel for Bella and Trey would be different. She was right. They both have very special yet very different places in my heart. They mean different things to me. Obviously Trey is my child and Bella is my pet…so things did change. Bella is not my number one focus anymore. But I don’t love her any less. I am not any less grateful for the role she plays in my life. She’s my Bella and I will always love her to pieces. And I squeal just thinking about her and Trey being BFF’s.