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miss usa beat me

June 20, 2011
This was my facebook status last night:
  • There is nothing like watching the Miss USA Pageant to make you feel bad about yourself  #fail

I will full on admit that I was insanely jealous of the ladies on the Miss USA Pageant last night. It filled me with such negative thoughts about my own body. My inner dialouge was pretty bad last night. And then my thoughts eventually graduated to what my husband thought. Does he wish I looked like these women? Is he disgusted when he looks at me after seeing these women?? And on and on and on…

I wish I could say that I snapped out of it. I didn’t. I went to bed in kind of a funk. I woke up this morning in kind of a funk. Then I worked out. It is amazing what a workout can do for your self esteem. I made the conscious decision to NOT say anything bad about myself for that entire work out. I was only allowed to think positive thoughts. I physically had to force myself to say good things. I made a mental list. Here’s what I came up with:

  • I’m really freaking strong. I can lift some serious weight.
  • My husband loves me for more than what I look like. He loves me for a million reasons and how firm my ass is isn’t high up on his priority list.
  • I am really smart. I am proud of that!
  • I don’t quit. I am very mentally tough.
  • I am a good wife.
  • I have a cute nose. 🙂
  • I am a good friend. I am loyal. I am trustworthy.

I will admit that I DO feel better. I got a great workout. I jammed to some good music and I am about to go face the terrible Texas heat and mow my yard. I may not be a cellulite-free size zero beauty queen but I am working on being the best Kelly I can be and I really can’t ask or want more than that.

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30 Comments leave one →
  1. June 20, 2011 7:19 am

    What a great perspective! It’s hard to keep these things in mind and it is good to be reminded of them. Thanks for posting!

  2. June 20, 2011 7:44 am

    A good workout does amazing things for the spirit. Glad you are in a better place. I don’t watch miss America especially for those reasons. And you rock for getting out their and mowing your lawn in the heat too!

  3. June 20, 2011 7:59 am

    And that’s exactly why I don’t watch those things! Glad oyu got some good perspective this morning though!

    • June 20, 2011 8:28 am

      Keith eventually made me turn it off. haha…he said I wasn’t enjoying it and did I really care who won or did I just care about how they looked? He was right. I didn’t care who won. I don’t even know who won this morning. I was just sitting there brooding and comparing myself. I am glad I turned it off and I do truly feel better this morning!

  4. June 20, 2011 9:27 am

    I’m glad you turned it off, and that you were able to regain a brighter perspective today!

  5. June 20, 2011 9:34 am

    Aww Kelly! This is precisely the reason why I avoid watching programs like that or the VS fashion show…Talk about annoying! I’m glad you are slowly snapping out of your funk and hopefully that wonderful husband of yours is helping you also build back up your self esteem! YOu are truly gorgeous, strong, smart, inspiring, and funny!! No reason to have negative feelings!! Keep on keeping positive! You rock chica!

  6. June 20, 2011 9:47 am

    Ugh. Pagenats. I went to school with Miss PA from last year and it was very easy to look at her and think, “Gee, what have I done with my life? Nothing compared to her!” Thankfully, I quickly got over that!

    And…I agree with all of your positive statements! 🙂

  7. June 20, 2011 10:22 am

    Yup, that’s why i can’t watch those things. Glad you managed to improve your mood!

  8. June 20, 2011 10:27 am

    Yah, I dont watch shows like that for that exact reason. Its just not healthy, and I swear they TRY and make people feel bad about themselves. Im glad you got yourself out of that funk, and just so you know, I’d far rather be all those things you listed above than be Miss USA.

  9. June 20, 2011 11:04 am

    This post is just reason #42 why I think you’re great. I love how you turned your attitude around to be positive!

  10. June 20, 2011 12:13 pm

    I can definitely see where you are coming from. I get in those funks a LOT, especially in terms of my boyfriend. I feel like I need to be perfect for him even if my body is definitely not why he loves me!

  11. June 20, 2011 12:37 pm

    Thanks for the honest post. It means a lot coming from someone as downright pretty as you are! I know better than to watch that. I’d feel the same way!

  12. June 20, 2011 1:03 pm

    It really is amazing what a workout can do for you. Whenever I’m in a funk I make sure I work out because I know that will be the ONE thing that will snap me out of it.

    Also – just remember that all those girls, while they might look perfectly happy and confident, probably have all the same insecurities as us “regular” girls do 🙂

  13. June 20, 2011 1:07 pm

    That’s why I don’t watch it either. Makes me feel bad about myself :/ So not worth it.
    And, just remember, a lot of girls are sprayed with TONS of tanning stuff, so it hides cellulite….you really don’t know if they have it or not. Kind of like celebrities.
    You are absolutely BEAUTIFUL Kelly & you have such a gorgeous smile 🙂
    & Yes, you are VERY strong- your workouts ROCK!!! I love when you share them because they always kick MY butt in the gym 🙂

  14. June 20, 2011 4:01 pm

    Great perspective, Kelly. I’ll admit, I had a few of those thoughts run through my head last night while watching (I posted about it today, too). But what you said is so true…we may not be cellulite-free, size zero beauty queens, but we’re working on being the best we can be! 🙂
    Glad you were able to get out of your funk!

  15. June 20, 2011 4:02 pm

    I didn’t watch it, but if I had, I would have felt the same way. Although I’m less worried about what my husband thinks than what random people at the pool think. Self esteem 😦

  16. The Teenage Taste permalink
    June 20, 2011 4:33 pm

    I hate pagents. Sure the dresses, hair, and make-up all make the women look pretty for the show, but remember when they go home and take it all off they are just like you and me. Imperfect.
    Glad to hear you were able to quiet the negative voices in your head. You are awesome! 🙂

  17. June 20, 2011 4:54 pm

    Ick I hate that stuff and I hate that it brought you down! Way to push through it with your workout! The really scary part is that the pagent is a large scale example of the everyday advertisements and celebrities we are always exposed to…and it really stinks for the younger generations who probably do not have your level of skill to cope with it!

  18. June 20, 2011 6:27 pm

    I commend anyone who follows their passion, but the whole beauty contest thing is not my thing…everyone tries to fit that same mold and it’s as though they are all the same person! I admire uniqueness about everyone and those pageants force you to conform to their ‘standard of beauty’…I don’t compare myself at all to people on TV, they’re not realistic to what it’s like to strive for a healthy body in my opinion. Is it wrong to strive for that? No, but it’s just not something I attain to be so I don’t even bother to compare myself.

  19. June 20, 2011 6:27 pm

    I commend anyone who follows their passion, but the whole beauty contest thing isn’ t my thing…everyone tries to fit that same mold and it’s as though they are all the same person! I admire uniqueness about everyone and those pageants force you to conform to their ‘standard of beauty’…I don’t compare myself at all to people on TV, they’re not realistic to what it’s like to strive for a healthy body in my opinion. Is it wrong to strive for that? No, but it’s just not something I attain to be so I don’t even bother to compare myself.

  20. June 20, 2011 6:42 pm

    Kelly are BEAUTIFUL and write awesome posts that I always find to be inspiring and make me stop and think!! I always try to keep in mind that those women likely have a hair stylist, makeup artist, personal trainer, nutritionist, stylist, etc, etc Any woman could look that way with all that help!! haha

  21. June 20, 2011 7:38 pm

    Omigod you are gorgeous!!! You need to know that!! Great inspiring blog post.

  22. June 20, 2011 9:21 pm

    well said kell! you are so right. Progress is more rewarding!

  23. June 20, 2011 9:51 pm

    I didn’t even know Miss USA was on last night! Whatever- I think the stress of their lives would so NOT make it all worth it! And you’ve got a mighty long list there… so you win. :p

  24. June 21, 2011 7:53 am

    I admire anyone who has a passion and desire to do something, such as pageants, but it’s definitely not something I am interested in. I don’t like how all the girls look alike and act alike. It’s like being unique is not even accounted for. I don’t even think of comparing myself to a pageant queen because it’s not my interest. While they certainly are beautiful, it’s such a specific mold and one that comes at a cost (sanity, I’m sure!). It’s not worth it to me!

    Progress not Perfection is the name of my Health Challenge group at work…I’m the team captain!

  25. June 21, 2011 9:50 am

    It’s like you read my mind while I was watching the show too and you are right, there is nothing like a good workout to change your entire day around!

  26. June 21, 2011 5:02 pm

    Love this post! Not gonna lie I get caught up far too often in the comparison trap but we can only be our best selves and thats all that matters!!

    Katie : )

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