focusing on step one
Thank you all so much for such sweet words on my last post. You guys rock and as much as it sucks that other people are going through this too, at least I know I am not alone.
So here’s the deal.
I saw my OB/GYN on Friday and he has officially referred me and Keith to a fertility specialist clinic. At first there was no need for Keith and I to see a fertility specialist because we were getting pregnant all on our own. Albeit we were miscarrying but we were conquering the first battle of conceiving. Then I stopped having monthly cycles. Just stopped. Out of the freaking blue.
We played with my thyroid medicine after discovering through blood tests that I was over-medicated. That didn’t work. Then we did a round of Clomid. Not only did that not get me to ovulate, that didn’t even get me to have a cycle. So my OB said that we are officially out of his expertise and need to see a specialist.
There is no explanation that he can find for why this is happening. There is no reason that I cycled normally, got pregnant (twice), continued to cycle normally and then just stopped.
Our appointment with the fertility specialist isn’t until January 29th. Part of me wishes it was tomorrow but I will take what I can get at this point. Plus school starts back up on Monday and I will have work to fill my thoughts and distract me from all….this. Thank goodness!
I never thought my blog would become about chronicling my journey to be a mom. But it is what it is. Now I have t0 focus on trying to get pregnant and after that I am sure I will face an entirely new set of fears. I don’t trust my body at all. It hasn’t shown me that it can do it. In fact it has shown me the complete opposite. It freaks the eff out when it gets pregnant. But I just have to take this one step at a time. Or else I will suffocate. So step one. See the fertility specialist.
That is all I can focus on right now. Just step one.
And until then, I can just focus on Keith, Bella, and my students at school. If I can’t be a mom to my own kids then I might as well be a teacher to someone else’s.
I’ll take it.